Gentlesirs

By Al Horn

"Gentlesirs, gentledams, this is Myrit Koneil of Intergal Systems, welcoming you once again to go with us to places very few sentience would think to visit. Today we have a special treat for you." The face before us pauses, looks up, and then looks forward again. "Keena, was that a shadow that passed over us? Did I have my trademark expression?"

"Yes," comes a voice from in front of him. It wasn't a disembodied voice, just one from a different perspective. 'For the umpteenth time, I am your producer, and I would not let that happen without saying something. Would I Joon?"

The view, one seen through a monitor screen, pans back a little to show more of the subjects face. "As your favorite Optical Coordinator, I would not allow that to occur," says Joon. The view pans back a little further. At this point, it is clear that what may have been mistaken as facial hair is clearly fur.

Bushy eyebrows wrinkle in towards each other. "I don't know for sure, but it seems the light from the two previous worlds were brighter," says Myrit.  "Boonta, are you sure that my make-up is okay?"

"Not one, not two, but three different spectrometers tell me it is," she replies.

"I'm certain that all of you are right. You know me, always wanting it to be perfect. Do you want me start over or just continue from where I stopped, Keena?" Myrit asks.

"Just pick up where you left off," she answers.

"Oh, okay." The view zooms back into the original position. "At this point in time, we have chosen to visit Cretch, hive-home of our intergalactic society."

Slowly, the optical recorder begins to back away and focus on a being that appears to be humanoid. "Our cameras and crew have set up on the edge our great capitol city. Here, in a building of gigantic proportions, we will visit the grand ambassador training center."

Zooming further back to show the entrance, we also see that the commentator has extremely furry hands as well as a long, bushy, orange tail. The creature begins to walk backwards toward large glass doors as if this is the natural way for someone of his race to travel. The fact that he continues to talk as he walks gives rise to the suspicion that he might have an extra set of eyes in the back of his head. "Citizens from all over our great galaxy come here to be taught advanced communication skills. This University will turn out tomorrow?s sharpest diplomatic minds. Each planet sends students of its most advance culture or cultures here to study and understand the other great cultures of our vast society."

During this short walk, we see that the plant life all along the narrator's pathway is planted in various pastel colors. Small plants are evenly spaced between short trees whose branches seem to flow out then up at whatever whim they choose.  At a distance of four meters, the doors begin to slide effortlessly open to allow Myrits' unimpeded entry. Just before the glass doors can move completely open, we get a quick glimpse of the camera crews reflection.  That reflection is no more that a snapshot in the minds eye. Enough to tell that there are three distinctly different races on the other side of the camera.

"At last count, there were nine hundred and sixty-nine regents, representing one hundred and twenty-one different planets. Students that prove themselves worthy gather here to learn how to interact with other beings in one on one, and group exercises."

A quick pan shot shows five different hallways radiating away from the entrance like spokes in a wheel. Each 'hallway' was more like a street that stretched away from this point. You couldn't help but get the impression that four, six-story pie slices lay before you, under one large domed roof.  The 'dome' was actually square. If you were to enter any of the other three corner entrances, this same layout would appear before you.

"Each year, twelve new students from each sect arrive for the eight-year program. It is rare that as many as half will still be here by the end of the third year.  Less than half that number will remain after the sixth year. Graduations each year often consist of only one being of each sect receiving honors. Only the true cream of the crop will go forth to serve internships on minor outpost before moving on to regional positions."

Myrit stops and looks quickly at a directory ten meters inside the doors. He glances back at the camera and gives a quick wink. "I think we will pop into a second year group consensus exercise." He says in a carefully measured tone. "We'll just slip into the observers room just down the hallway.  We are expected of course, not by the students themselves, but by the Administrators."  The walls of the hallway also appear to have a life of their own. The colors seem to shift as beings come near. The color hue is different for each being that walks past. If you didn't know better, you would think that the walls speak and this is the color representing the names they have given each race, if not each individual.

After walking thirty odd paces down the second hallway on the right, Myrit waves a hand in front of a solid colored circle on the wall to his left. A large door slides open and beckons to be entered by several rows of lights on the floor that flash in a meaningful pattern. Once inside, he crosses to a creature that stands one and a half meters tall. This same creature turns to show that it is rather squat for it's size, has two, very close set eyes, and skin that appears to be made of very fine feathers.  The creature says, "Ah gentlesirs," he looks back at the entire camera crew, then quickly, "and gentledam."

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