Contradiction in Diction

By Al Horn

I'm not a hard man to talk to. My wife will tell you that. She will sometimes tell you that I am a hard person to listen to. You may have heard social scientists tell you that our environment shapes us. My wife will tell there is some truth to that just before she points a finger in my direction. My roots are in the Mid-West but I have strong family ties to the South.

I was raised near St. Louis in a small community that had a lot of farmers in and out of town. My paternal grandparents lived in Herman, Mo. When I moved from St Louis in the second grade I discovered kindred spirits of a sort. It reminded me more of the way people talked from Arkansas where my mom's family is from. It helped to make the adjustment from the big city a little easier. My English, with all it's southern colloquialisms thrown in, was better understood. Except, by the other city kids whose parents had fled to rural America.

My English grew better by local standards. I still got some teasing for some of the southern pronunciations that persisted to pop out of my mouth. My problem, as some people might call it, was the fact that I would spend two weeks every summer in the farm community of Herman and at least a week in the heart of Arkansas. This lasted until my high school years. I might have had a chance to come around to local thinking had I not spent two summers in Dallas, Texas.

I had two uncles that had transplanted themselves to the southwest part of town and were helpful in putting me up at their houses and getting me work there. After I would return in September for school my friends would swear my accent was so thick that they could cut it with a knife. As it is, some of my speech combines expressions and sounds that can be found on both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line. As if things weren't discombobulated enough, I spent five years out of high school in Kansas City, Mo. They have terms that are unique to that part of the country. Some of them crept into my vocabulary. Top it all off my twisting a few words around to get them to stick in the minds of my children and most would say that I have a colorful if not quaint dialect all of my own.

There have been times that I have heard some of my co-workers use some of my more common expressions. One of them even referred to a particular phrase as a 'Hornism'. At the time, I wasn't sure if I should be proud or embarrassed. I guess that will learn me. Of course, my wife might tell you I'm a product of negative reinforcement. I once mispronounced the word trilogy in public and she later told me that she was embarrassed for me. For a period time after that, I made it a point to tell people about the tri-ology that I hoped to someday write. At this point I must give some credit where it is due. Having fun with my children as they got older didn't help.

When children are beginning to learn to talk it is not uncommon for them to say words slightly askew. We often had bisgetti for dinner. When something of mine came up missing, the only logical explanation (in the mind of a four-year old) was that it had distappeared. Bearing this in mind, one might come to the conclusion that my speech patterns are GPS based.

When I am around my children and grandchildren I tend to speak in a certain manner that is different than my public voice. When I'm around friends and coworkers that I feel at ease with, a different voice. Then there is my wife's ability to discern how far we are from the Missouri-Arkansas border. She swears the closer we get to Arkansas the more my maternal family accent makes it self apparent. Well, that's enough for now. Y'all come back.