Language Foul

By Al Horn

The Barmaid has often told other people the closer I travel toward the Mason-Dixon Line, my slightly southern accent becomes more and more pronounced. I won't deny it. There are certain forces in nature that cannot be restrained. I am what I am. What boggles my mind is when I suddenly see certain words start to pop up in the print media as if everyone should naturally be aware of their meanings.

As much as I disagree with their politics, I do read the local paper on an almost daily basis. I read it and the countywide paper from cover to cover. I do make an exception of the classified section. I try to follow the news of the world and I read certain columnist whose opinions I find interesting. Sometimes I find them educational in that I will see several writers start using the same 'college-size' word in the same month. Next month it will be a new word.

Some of these words get some help in that they will pop up on some fancy list of 'words for the day'. Not long thereafter they run rampant for a while then fade into the print version of a sunset. Some words are resurrected a few years later for a second run.

For instance, take the word: ubiquitous. It appeared as the word of the day on February 20th, 2000. It received a certain amount of usage before the elections then disappeared for the most part. Oh, for those of you that have never heard of the word, it means to be seemingly everywhere, all the time. It's synonym, omnipresent, was introduced in October of 2002 as a word of the day. Had the columnist used omnipresent instead of ubiquitous I would have understood what they meant. By the same notion, if they had described the person they were talking about as seemingly everywhere at all times, thousands of readers wouldn't have needed to pull out their dictionary's. The word resurfaced last spring.

To be fair to the writers we must consider they have deadlines and word counts to work with. In some cases it is useful to use one word instead of six. It means you can dedicate more space to your subject. The writer appears worldlier and the editor gets more bang for his buck. Let's not forget how it keeps the makers of dictionaries in business.

Not all writers use language that forces readers to look up their words. By the same token, you will sometimes find large mysterious words in some of the most innocent places; like on the comics page. About a month ago, a favorite comic character used the word 'disingenuous'. I'm sure that many people were shaking their collective heads and then scurried to find their big, thick, wordbooks. Not I. I had already become familiar with the word.

A few weeks earlier, I had submitted a commentary to the local paper and had the editor of that section throw this word into my face. I didn't know if I was being applauded or insulted. I immediately jumped onto my computer and did a search for the word.

Webster will tell you it means to be uncandid or meanly artful. Few people describe me as artful.

Wordnet says I gave a false appearance of frankness. Frankly, I didn't see where my appearance had anything to do with the opinion I had expressed.

Brainy.com described me as unworthy; not noble. Again, where does my bloodline play any part in the matter.

Lastly, the American Heritage dictionary accused me of being insincere and pretending to be naïve. I only pretend with dogs and children. I will declare to my last breath I am sincerely naïve.

I am nothing if not all of the above. I chose to be complimented and insulted at the same time. I also withdrew my commentary for consideration and published it on our website. I had hoped to receive much e-mail containing such colorful language. Perhaps the common person misunderstood me and they didn't know what fancy word they wanted to toss my way. Such is life on a small website.

Some will tell you that communication is a skill while others will tell you it is an art. I just wish that some of those that are skilled would be a little less artful. There are many intelligent minds in this world that operate in simple language.

While writing for the masses, I have been known to use some southern English. I write for simple folks as well as the purveyors of fifty-cent words. I would elucidate further upon the pitfalls of literary mayhem but I don't wish to appear disingenuous. Besides, I am rapidly approaching my self-imposed word count.

Hey, y'all come back, now. Hear?